This week has been less than ideal, but I've been trying to keep my chin up... largely through the help of hot toddies and venting to everyone who will listen, including a small forum of strangers over the internet.
This morning I was walking in Valparaiso and heard a horrible screeching. I turned a corner and saw the most pathetic looking kitten imaginable in the middle of the road. Scurrying around and amazingly darting passing cars. I ran into the street, bent down to pick it up, and realized that it was completely covered in shit and smelled as if it had been this way for weeks. Rather than touching it, I kind of urged it to the side of the road with my feet.
And there we were, on the side of the road. At this point, I kind of assumed that I'd find a mother cat, or at least a few other kittens hovering close by. No luck. While I was thinking about my next step, the kitten started becoming quite fond of my feet, which isn't completely illogical, as they likely saved her life. I didn't know what to do. The thing was shivering, trying to crawl up my leg, curl between my feet, looking longingly at me and screaming screaming screaming at the top of her little kitten lungs.
I called a friend to discuss my options. Animal shelters in Chile? No. Anyone who might want a kitten? No. Could I keep her? Not really. I can't have cats where I am living now, and having a cat complicate my new apartment search could be bad news, plus, I don't even know how long I will be living here. Trying to get her back to the states with me was a headache that I couldn't begin to contemplate. Also, she smelled bad enough and was screaming loud enough that I couldn't even bring her on a bus to get her home.
I nudged the kitten aside and walked away with tears welling in my eyes.
Two years ago, there would have been no way that I could have left the kitten there to die. I'm growing up. I never wanted to lose my overly strong sense of child like idealism. I wanted, and still want, to believe that every action to help someone else (human or animal) was worth all the inconvenience and really did take a step, however small, towards making this world a less horrible place to exist in.
I could have taken the kitten. I could have figured something out. I don't know why I didn't.
Besos,
Allie
4 comments:
I just started my first compost pile! Also you are an amazing individual, and your contributions to humankind are to be praised. You have also done a great deal more than most for animals in the past. They will forgive I am sure.
Awwww, Vince. And I was expecting you to tell me that all cats should die. :)
and you dont even have the addict's "i been in this game for years; it made me a animal" excuse. anyway, the worst thing isn't when you start to become hardhearted, because you can't change everything in the world. the worst thing is when you start to act like you're proud of it. that's how fascists are made, and that's the secret reason why fascists have the keenest sense of justice.
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